Hope all of you loyal readers have been enjoying yourself this week. But it’s currently Tuesday, and if you’re in the western hemisphere, chances are the weather is miserable. And if you’re like us, depressing and downtrodden weather makes you want to crush terrible for you food. There’s something about the idea of empty calories that makes the human psyche somehow believe life will get better. The only problem is, all fast food ever does is leave you lonely, broken, aching, and in need of baby wipes.

With this in mind, we still always find ourselves reaching for Double Baconators and 20 Piece McNuggets during these cold, winter months with reckless abandon. Figuring that the rest of world feels the same way, we wanted to point out to you all of the whacky, wild, and bizarre upcoming deals that all you cheap asses can take advantage of in the next couple of weeks. This way we can all get fat together and help all the cardiologists in the world buy their future yachts.

First deal comes from the up and coming pizza gimmick king: Domino’s. This Thursday, December 8th, is apparently their 51st anniversary of existence. And to make this occasion extra special, they have proclaimed Thursday as Global Domino’s Day. While I’m not quite sure they will be cancelling Congress sessions or halting wars due to the massive global impact of the day, Domino’s will be offering half off pizza orders through their Facebook page all day long. While it’s not clear whether the 1/2 off offer (say that 5 times fast) will apply to all items including their new Stuffed Cheesy Bread, the FFG crew will try our hardest and will definitely be participating this Thursday.

The next deal takes place today only, at gimmick burger purveyor Red Robin. Today only, December 6th, anyone named Jim will be able to get a free Jim Beam Bacon Swiss burger a their local Red Robin. Their Facebook page provides all of the glorious details, stipulating that anyone with a first name of James, Jaime, Jamie, Jaimie, Jami, Jamey, Jameson, Jimmy, Jimmi, Jimi, Jim, or Jimbo will be able to participate with a valid ID. So for everyone lucky enough to have this glorious namesake or if your fake I.D. says that you do, head over to Red Robin today for your free burger. Gotta feel for Jimmer Fredette though, as his name doesn’t seem to qualify.

The last deal we’ve come across regards BK’s new fries. While we reported about them yesterday, with a review in the works, BK’s official website still has no mention of a new fry recipe. But that hasn’t stopped them from releasing TV commercials and declaring Dec 16th Free Fry’s Friday. Anyone can walk into their nearest Burger King restaurant on the 16th and receive a free value sized allotment of their new thick cut fries for free. With Burger King’s announcement today that they will implement the amazing Coke Freestyle machines that Steve experienced at a new Wendy’s and with no other purchase necessary, this deal can’t be missed. So even if you have to traverse the tri-county area, like we do in Pittsburgh, take advantage of this offer for sure.

So there you have it. Take advantage of these deals, loosen that belt buckle to that special notch saved for buffet trips and Thanksgiving, and save your self some dough, thanks to Fast Food Geek.

~Fast Food Geek staff