Well, it’s official. The Angry Whopper is cursed. It’s as if the sandwich was conceived on an Indian burial ground or made for the first time on a Friday the 13th with a broken mirror being used as a cutting board for the ingredients.

The plan for g&gg’s Friday evening included seeing the new 3D horror film, My Bloody Valentine followed by a trip to a real, standalone Whopper Lair afterwards. I had my trusty digital camera sequestered away in my jacket pocket, and after the movie, I left the theatre without much of a care. That sinking feeling hit me approximately 8 and a half minute later when I realized that my once bulky pock had been rendered down to slim and flimsy. The camera had decided it was time to run for open pastures, leaving me in the dust.

While I had little hope that the camera would be retrieved from a theatre ripe with teenagers and Craig’s Listers, Mike and I made the embarrassing walk of shame back to our seats. With another movie already starting up, I begrudgingly sauntered over to the folks sitting in my former seat and sheepishly asked for them to get up and look for my camera. Wrist deep in popped corn, the moviegoers were less than pleased with my strange request. In a nonchalant and lackluster breeze through, they halfheartedly scoped out the area, as if they didn’t even want to find it. Long story short, the camera is gone, along with a gig’s worth of photos.

I’ve never been the type of person to cry over spilled milk, so the show had to go on. We went to BK, opting for the drive thru, due to the fact that dining room was long closed at this point. G&GG accomplice Brendan, driving in sub zero temperatures, dealing with the crankiest BK drive thru representative since Dane Cook, and frozen car windows came through in the clutch, by actually exiting the car to retrieve the food. This move hasn’t been used since the 8th grade picnic.

Upon arrival at home, manned with only my 2 mega pixel camera phone, I mounged on the angry whopper, in quite the angry mood to begin with.

The full compliment of toppings were on this particular sandwich, and in typical fast food fashion, the sandwich was actually quite limp compared to the ample and voluminous photos. With all of the toppings and all of the differing flavors I was quite surprised to find that there wasn’t an overwhelming amount of taste to this sandwich. It was plenty hot, I continuously found myself reverse blowing to aid in my mouth’s misery but all it was all heat and no flavor. Spicy sandwiches at Wendy’s and other establishments have a distinct flavor, and usually have a signature flare. With the Angry Whopper I was left without a camera and without a surviving taste bud. Due to the fact that I love all of the ingredients in their separate ways, I still have to give the sandwich a 3.5, but putting them all together created a hot oil spill.

Angry Whopper: 3.5/5

New camera is on the way, until the next sauce,

Andrew